No bake, shit cookies
Are you on a raw diet? I can definitely accommodate your needs sweetie. Sit right there while you watch me shit on a plate, naked for you. It takes me a few minutes to push this load out, but when it does, it comes out like beautiful, rich, thick, chocolate soft serve. You're favorite. Then I form these delicious no bake shit cookies by hand for you. Who doesn't like homemade treats? I love to take scoops of my poop and roll it into little balls. I know you will love eating these. It might be tough for you at first, but you're going to be a good boy and eat my shit raw. This is what you need for your nutrients. Good boy.
I want you taking these treats to work with you. I want you eating them in public, right in front of your boss. I want your boss and coworkers to smell my shit on my breath. I want them knowing what a nasty loser you are. I will know if you do not eat all of these cookies. IF you do not eat them all, I will tell your family, all of your ex's, and I will post to your social media that you're a nasty shit eater.